Friday, March 19, 2010

Details to come.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

When god closes a door, he opens a window. When Rudd closes a door it ends up on the lawn.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

You can look into the abyss, and the abyss can look into you, but I guarantee you can't spend more than five seconds staring at this thing before trying to find someone to perform an exorcism.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I stopped her to tell her I thought her bike was swell, and questioned why she did so. She had once owned a flower shop, and sometime after that she did this one day. The response was positive, and made people happy, it made her happy. About the best damn reason I could see for doing it.

Monday, March 15, 2010

The great thing about the duck hunt gun is it doesn't leave buckshot in your meat.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

It's cold outside, best be putting a sweater, and a hat. You wouldn't want your signs to catch pneumonia.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Banking for zombies.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Belligerent Berries Best Belong By Bays, Bears, Beastly Barricuda's, But Break Briefly Before Biting.

Too many B's, not enough honey.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

The greatest dinosaur that ever lived, if you could call it living.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The King's Gambit has nothing to do with the British branch of supermutants.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I am but a child, life is my colouring book.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Life is like a lime, sometimes you find it cut up, squeezed, and discarded on a rock on top of a mountain.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Size Eleven Men's shoe. Size 23 Seagull Poo. You know what they say about a seagull with large feces splatter. It doesn't make good pancake batter.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Driving School

The sign indicates the government's displeasure with my actions. When you embarrass the Prime Minister by doing wicked wheelies behind his pickup truck be prepared to pay the price.

Somedays you can't win.

Something goes wrong, next thing you know you are tied to a rope suspended by a balloon with no readily available way down. Life is like a Barbie doll, cheap, hollow, made of lead tainted plastic. Next time, just pay your phone bill on time.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Make eyes, not babies.

Garlic and Vodka can alleviate tooth pain.

Do not tell her your Tetris score on the first date.

The day is what you make it.